The visit handover note: what to pass on between visits

Why handovers go wrong#

Most handovers fail for ordinary reasons. You're tired, the swap happens in a rush, and the details stay in your head.

The gaps add up. Family Caregiver Alliance says caregiving strain can lead the overburdened caregiver to feel frustrated and resentful and other siblings to feel uninformed and left out.

A short, steady handover helps with both. The person who just visited gets to put it down. The person arriving knows where things stand.

What to write down after each visit#

The National Institute on Aging suggests keeping a notebook so everyone involved in caregiving stays informed. It can be paper, a shared note or a document. The format matters less than the habit.

It also says everyone should have access and the notebook should be reviewed regularly and updated as needed.

For each visit, keep the entry to a few lines under these headings:

• What happened. The date, how long you stayed, what you did together, and how the visit felt overall.
• What changed. Anything different around the house or in his routine: a new gadget, a cancelled service, an empty fridge, a stack of unopened mail.
• Worth a second look. Anything about his health that worried you goes here as a plain note. Don't guess at causes. Raise it with his care team.

Write it before you leave or on the drive home. Five minutes is enough.

What's coming up: appointments, deliveries, birthdays#

This is the part that gets missed most. Keep one running list of dates for the next few weeks:

• Appointments, and who is driving
• Deliveries and service visits, such as groceries or a repair person
• Birthdays, holidays and family visits
• Anything that needs a reminder call a day before

Put the date first and the name of the person responsible next to it. If nobody is named, the item is not yet covered.

Open jobs and who owns them#

An open job is anything started but not finished: a form to find, a phone call to return, a light bulb to change.

Give each job one owner and one date. Family Caregiver Alliance recommends that you ask siblings to take care of specific tasks. It adds that even siblings across the country can help by making check-in phone calls or locating services.

A simple layout works well:

Job	Owner	By when	Done?
Call the pharmacy about delivery times	Sister	Friday
Pick up the winter coat from the cleaner	Me	Next visit

Tick items off as they finish, and carry unfinished ones to the next note.

Keeping it private and respectful of your parent#

This note is about your dad, not behind his back. Tell him you're keeping it and why: so neither of you has to ask him the same questions twice.

The National Institute on Aging advises, in guidance for clinicians, that you check with the patient about how they see a companion's role in an appointment. It also says to keep the patient involved in their own health care and conversation. The same spirit works for handovers. Ask him what he's comfortable having written down and shared.

A few habits keep the note kind:

• Stick to facts and plans, and leave out judgments about him or about each other.
• Keep the note shared between you and your sibling, not forwarded widely.
• Finish with one line of thanks. Family Caregiver Alliance suggests you express appreciation to your family for the help they can give.

If the handover starts to feel like a chore, check in. NIA suggests you check in with the older person and the other caregivers regularly to make sure the current arrangement is still working for everyone. If you're the one carrying too much, see Making room for yourself (without the guilt). If you need help opening the conversation with your sibling, try The first conversation about care doesn't have to be perfect.

Your next step#

The free visit handover sheet in the Family Coordination Kit puts these headings on one page. Fill it in after your next visit, and ask your sibling to do the same.